My boyfriend of three years booked a flight to another city without telling me. The trip is next month, for five days. He’ll be traveling alone. I noticed his ticket while I was cleaning his house, but he was unaware I saw it. We don’t live together.
Every time he travels to the city where he’ll go next month, he claims that he needs to go and that he’s meeting his male friend there. I’m curious as to why he needs to spend so much money on hotels, meals, and transportation when he and his friend can communicate through video conversations.
I have a strong feelings that my boyfriend is seeing another girl. What do you think?
There might be another woman. Or maybe he has a romantic interest in his friend. It’s also possible the situation is exactly what he says it is – trips to see someone who’s important to him.
I could guess all day, but I don’t know the answer.
Things I can be sure about:
1. You don’t trust your boyfriend, and he hasn’t made these trips accessible to you, so you can see what’s what.
2. You believe that he might be seeing another woman, but you haven’t made any plans to work on problems or break up. (You seem to want crowd validation that this is weird behavior, but I’m not sure what that gets you.)
3. You … clean his house?
4. At the very least, you’re uncomfortable with how he prioritizes his time and money.
If this is where you are after three years, it’s time to consider why you stick around. Maybe ask him that question, too; what keeps you in this partnership – if it is one – after so much time. You can talk about whether you share the same values about your future, friendships, and money.
These are big topics to consider, but they might give you the answers you need about what comes next. You might want a partner who shares more. It might be time to make big changes.
Readers? Would you plan a trip without telling a significant other? What are the real communication issues here?